R........d

I thought maybe this strain was marmalade with a 'd' and just a type-o on the packaging. I think I am wrong, though, and it's actually something different—apparently a cross between Critical Bilbo and Lavender. (Marmalade with a D has roughly a 1:1 THC to CBD ratio and is a cross between Sour Tsunami and Blueberry Cheesecake.) While Marmalate (with a T) has a lot of the same relaxing properties, it is not a 1:1 ratio strain, so don't be confused. It will get you stoned, so do not mistake this for a THC-weak, "beginner" strain. My bud-tender, moreover, made no mention of it having an especially high CBD component or a low THC level. She did mention it had elevated levels of CBN and CBG, though, which makes it feel very relaxing. I estimate the THC of this strain is at least 20%, though I have no hard data to back that up. On to the experience... sweet berries and fruit-smoothy sour to the nose and palate, with hints of rose and lavender. These buds are conical in shape, prodigious in size, and glorious in their coating of trichomes. They are dense and resin-filled, with yellow hairs and sage-green calyxes, rendered iridescent behind white shimmer. Burning this bud was a smooth experience, and I smoked a large bowl to myself (thinking it was mostly a 1:1 at the time) without pause and without coughing. It retained its taste fairly well throughout the bowl and turned ashy only in the end. I have been horizontal and carefree for the duration of this review and all the research. I'm not lost in a mental labyrinth, and I do not have ravenous munchies like I do with many indica-dominant strains. I have a steady stiffness in my temples and steady relief at every radius throughout my body. I like this strain and the price was right, making it a great value that I would buy again. It needs a more distinguishing name. Maybe Lavender Baggins or Critical Lav...?

When I first saw the name, I assumed it was a GG phenotype, but upon inspection, it is mostly an Afghani strain. The buds feature variegated green and indigo hues, and they are on the fluffy-side, but certainly not weak. The taste is pleasant but not mouth-watering—close to the taste of Northern Lights. Pine is predominant, but it is faintly sweet and woodsy. The effects, not its taste or appearance, put this strain to five stars. It is perfect for stress, depression, insomnia, and other common ailments of the human condition. A half-bowl left me functional (albeit in only a culinary way, and then only for a snack), and a full bowl now has me horizontal, writing this review. I am still able to mentally focus, but I don't ruminate on anything that would stress me out. I feel like that's a difficult balance to strike with a hybrid. I did eat some popcorn, but I am not voraciously gobbling up every carb in sight. The best times to smoke this are after work, a workout, or dinner--it can prepare you for bed too, if you were leaning that way already.

I had tried Dutch Treat before, but I retained no memory of it—whether it was a forgettable strain, sub-par bud, or just so good I can't remember shit about it—I'll never know. So many strains smell like lemons and pine, and Dutch Treat Haze does too, yet without any chemical traces. I know calling a flower floral is redundant, so I will say it is herbal and smells splendid and sweet. It looks fantastic in the jar—very fuzzy and well trimmed. I was about to join friends who were drinking (in moderation but enough to be good and buzzed). And since I generally don't drink, I wanted to feel the relaxation without losing focus on my good friends around me. This strain had that rare combination of both soaring high and the functionality and focus of the best sativas. I didn't need any stoner-rewinds in the conversation. As they went from buzzed to drinked to drunk, I was rolling back the tape for them. I'd say I got at least three hours before I came back down to earth and decided on a little night-cap indica. In that span of time, I managed to sit them down and decide (by committee) on which hike we were going to tackle at Zion Canyon the next morning—what should have felt like herding cats happened naturally and effortlessly. It wound up being a great decision too (only my ankle disagrees!). This bud had a moderate dose of CBD (1.12%), which make this suitable for mild anxiety and pain. I had no munchies—though I had just eaten supper. I had energy, but no jitters, no blues, no racing heartbeat. I'm a seasoned smoker and know when to save a Dutch treat for an hour later. So still take it easy with this one if you're new to smoking and/or suffer from panic attacks. Though not the heaviest slugger in the game, this was still very potent at 22.23% THC. Great combo of taste and effects for $35/eighth.

I originally purchased this as "All Star" which isn't an actual strain, but a brand of Cherry Kush. And come to find out there are people who call this strain "Cherry Pie" out in California, but in Phoenix Cherry Pie is the strain listed on Leafly (Durban x GDP). So name problems abound.... Still it bears some resemblance to Cherry Pie—big, fluffy yet sticky, and about as purple. This particular bud has a dense trichrome forest covering every nook and cranny of its calyxes. It is potent just to look at. The smell and taste of this bud has that Flintstone-vitamin sweetness amid the pine component from its OG Kush parentage. I notice that "cherry" is not an option on the taste selector below on this menu. This is probably fitting; I have never tasted a strain that made me think (let alone exclaim) "Wow, cherry!" I'll grant this one has a tart fruitiness that reminds me of sour grape as much as cherry. This strain is also fun to mix with Blueberry Kush, which really does taste like blueberries. It pairs well with a mixed berry smoothie. Because who doesn't love berries? This has strong indica-like effects, but I'm not lost in the labyrinth of my own mind. I can focus well enough. Still, I wouldn't plan on doing anything beyond a few dishes (after making a smoothie) and getting your shit ready for the next day. You will want to get something to eat before too long, and then get horizontal. This strain is great for taking things down a notch as sleepy time draws near. Tomorrow's cares stay with tomorrow.

This is one of my favorite smelling and tasting strains. The taste is fruity, sweet, and floral—somewhere between Tangerine Power and Rose Bud. I would love to taste this in a vape-oil cartridge. The high is mellow and functional—a great strain to burn after work. I didn't fixate much on the negatives, and it didn't power me down. You might find yourself unusually grateful for a turkey sandwich. While the pink candies are the admittedly the best among the starbursts, the name is too cloying and trite for the complex boutique and effects of this strain. Aren't pink starbursts supposed to be strawberry? (but not really because it's fake strawberry flavor.) So what's in a name. This hybrid, like the pink starburst, objective reigns supreme. I got this bud from Golden Leaf Wellness in Avondale, AZ.

I got this on special for a bottom-shelf price, and it did not disappoint. This was quite potent, but the smoke was smooth—no coughing—and pleasant, if a little vague. This particular bud didn't quite live up to the smell and taste of its name, but I have no other frame of reference: fruity, sweet and sour. But you could just have easily called this any of the other off-the-wall names out there. It tastes like good weed. It definitely leans sativa considering my ability to stay on task for this review. If you like Sour Diesel, try this one out.

I really like Jenny Kush. The name itself seemed a little boring at first glance; but with the good advice from my bud tender at Golden Leaf Wellness, I discovered Jenny Kush is anything but ordinary and plain. The buds were medium-sized, and tough to break apart. The smoke tasted sweet, but not cloying, berry-ish and floral—and it was reminiscent of something notable... perhaps another strain...? A fleeting memory not yet smoked away... an ex's perfume...? All part of the mystique of Jenny Kush. This was very strong weed. Half a bowl was more than enough. I am presently functional, and a bit loquacious, but I could also stand to watch some TV and lay down. Smoke this any time, in tribute to Jenny Monson.

I've been a several times now, and they consistently have the "greatest hits" of bud, in addition to a number of novel strains I've never smoked before. And even their cheapest bud can be quite good. In recent weeks, most notably, their Sour Amnesia got me just-the-right-amount of high on half a bowl. The bud-tenders are personable and always give good recommendations. And from my first visit until now, I have not waited longer than five minutes to see a bud-tender, which is surprising, considering what a groovy place it is. So take a chill drive down to the fringe of the Sierra Estrella wilderness, to Golden Leaf Wellness. They'll take good care of you. Soon you'll be forgetting all about that dufus who nearly ran you over on I-10.