What to do if your partner asks you to quit smoking weed

Published on August 24, 2022
(Adobe Stock)

Is your partner tired of your 4:20/24/7 antics?

Navigating relationships isn’t always easy, and there’s one scenario that every weed smoker dreads: their partner asking them to stop smoking weed.

When it comes to relationships, it is not always so cut and dry to end things and leave. It’s hard to walk away from something you’ve already invested so much time and energy into. Of course, if you are only two dates in and that person you are dating asks you to quit smoking, it’s easy to write it off as a dealbreaker.

But what is the course of action when a partner you’ve been with has suddenly changed their tune and no longer finds your stoner ways cute and endearing? Here are some practical tips for navigating a weed ultimatum.

1. Talk it out

Watercolor speech bubble on white background. Violet and teal green text bubbles side by side.

Simple as it may sound, a good conversation goes a long way. So make sure you take the opportunity to find out why your partner’s has changed their tune.

It’s rare that things happen in a vacuum, and perhaps your partner has been thinking about this for quite some time. It’s important to find out what led them to this decision and what you may be doing, intentionally or not, that’s impacting them in such a way.

Is weed affecting your quality time together? Do they want to quit smoking weed, but can’t do it without some support? Chances are there is some bigger reason than meets the eye.

2. Negotiate new weed boundaries

Along with talking it out, perhaps it’s time to negotiate some new boundaries around your weed smoking.

Perhaps your shared space is getting a little too loud and a separate “weed den” is in order. If you are smoking before date night, maybe it’s time to switch to smoking once the date is over. Weed could be impeding valuable relationship moments, and you’ve become blind to it. Especially, if smoking makes you feel less present with your surroundings.

Rest assured that there are always compromises. You just have to find them! It won’t necessarily be easy, but it will be worth it if it means more quality time with your cutie.

The perks of living with a THC-free bae

3. Evaluate your own habits

No one likes to hear this one, but sometimes even we stoners have to give it a break.

There have been many times over years of smoking weed where my habits got away from me. I’ve turned plenty of once-a-day toke breaks into all-day toke marathons, and I’ve definitely had days where I smoked before every tiny task, telling myself the weed is necessary to get things done.

several alarm clocks in one image

It might be time to get more intentional about your weed smoking, including deciding how and when weed best serves you.

It’s about weed fitting into your lifestyle, not about fitting your lifestyle in-between smoke breaks. There is a high chance that weed has snuck into more places than your partner would like or benefits from.

4 mental health tips for weed lovers

4. Stay together or let it go

hand putting a lighter to a bowl

Hopefully, a little talk and a compromise later, you and your partner find common ground, and the show goes on. But there’s always a chance you didn’t, and maybe you should leave.

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If your partner doesn’t want you smoking weed, and weed is integral to your health and well-being, it might be time to say “adiós”. As hard of a pill that is to swallow, you shouldn’t feel shamed based on your relationship with the plant.

Cannabis goes beyond fun, as many of us use it for medicinal purposes. If weed is keeping your health intact and a partner can’t see that, it may be a value difference bigger than just smoking weed.

Discreetly Dank: ‘Cannabis is my medicine, so why am I still so ashamed?’

If the two of you can’t reach a compromise and your partner has made up their mind that it’s their way or the highway, hit the highway. It won’t necessarily be an easy road, but it’s a road that’ll lead you to self-acceptance or even a new partner who doesn’t hate your love of weed.

There is no right way to handle an ultimatum, it comes down to taking stock of your needs and expectations in a relationship and deciding if they align with the other person. Trust your instincts and expect good intentions from your partner.

Here’s to greener pastures with your boo or with someone new!    

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Alyssa Yeoman
Alyssa Yeoman
Alyssa Yeoman is a comedian, writer, and producer. They co-host Leafly's podcast The Roll-up, manage the site's social media presence, and host Seattle’s Moth StorySLAM.
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