k........r

I’ve been trying to have a baby for seven years and, despite no physical reason, have not been able to have one. This is the Great Trial in my life so far, and that, plus the global pandemic, plus a rather traumatizing move across the country during the first month of the pandemic, has left me with a panic disorder, anxiety, and depression. Hello darkness, my old friend. So that’s where I am, and fairly recently I have discovered Sundae Driver. I saw in another review that it helped someone with PTSD and anxiety, and I thought hey, that sounds like it could be helpful, since a panic disorder brought on by a series of traumatic events is no more nor less than PTSD. I’ve now been smoking SD almost exclusively. I never liked indicas, (I’m already too calm, thank you very much), but recently sativas (Jack Herder is my fave at the moment) became too anxiety-producing. The speediness of the sativa was making me panic more. SD is, I believe, an indica leaning hybrid - it’s advertised as being very balanced, so the numbers are close. But how does it make me feel?! Get to the point already! I feel relaxed and happy. I’m a little thirsty, and I know my eyes will give away the fact that I am high. I feel a lightness in my chest, I can see that the sorrow and depression is still there, but I’m able to view it from a remove. It slows the panicked thoughts. It allows me space and time in between the negativity, to engage it and question it - what is this emotion that I’m feeling, and why? I also feel relieved and if not fully happy, then uplifted. I find this is a good strain for thinking about and talking about your feelings in a therapeutic way. It’s a little sleepy, but I find I can still get stuff done. I like the sleepiness because that means I can take it close to bedtime - sativa is a daytime herb only! In short, this is my New Favorite Strain. If you connected to anything I said above, try this. For me it’s been genuinely healing, which is what it’s all about, right?