The dispensary scene is relatively new for all of us, and every visit is an excellent people-watching opportunity. All types of folks from all walks of life enjoy the beloved cannabis. As a long-time enthusiast, I could make a bingo card of the stereotypes you’ll see on any given dispensary visit. Below are the four I see most often. And in case you didn’t know, every one of us is or will eventually be every one of these.
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The Overjoyed First Timer
Wide-eyed, bewildered, and utterly amazed by the fact that they’re essentially inside a 7-Eleven for cannabis. Remember your first time? It was just like that. The OFT can’t believe it’s real life, and who can judge? I still can’t believe it. Maybe they want to talk to a budtender, but don’t want to ask any “stupid” questions (no such thing as a stupid question!). The OFT is easily recognizable. Why? Because we’ve all been there. This sighting inspires a big grin on the face of all the other OGs.
The Indecisive Stoner
Sometimes we are the Indecisive Stoner. And sometimes it happens when we’re at the pot shop. Maybe today we need to know the THC content of every strain, and the potency of every shatter before we inevitably buy the cheapest pre-roll and a pack of gummies. When I’m in IS mode, I want to sniff every jar, ask the budtender his/her favorite strain, ultimately causing the length of my dispensary run to go from under 12 minutes to upwards of 30. They’re like “Dog, you should’ve peeped the menu on Leafly first and arrived here like a reasonable human being.” Next time, my man. Next time.
The On-The-Go Smoker
Headphones, backpack, Old Skool Vans. Sometimes we’re just stopping in to buy a pre-roll no matter which strain, effects, or brand. We’re on the way somewhere, and the walk and music would be a lot more enjoyable if we have a smoke along the way. When we’re in OTG mode, we are totally not feeling our Indecisive Stoner brethren. If you’ve not yet hit this level of dispensary visitor, look at my author photo and imagine me inside your local dispensary rocking a denim backpack, all-black Vans, and avoiding all conversation and eye contact because, hi, I’m Dante, and I have earned the On-The-Go Smoker badge.
The Senior Citizen in Disbelief
Every time I’m shopping for bud, there’s at least one customer old enough to be my grandparent, and they’re usually asking the budtenders the most questions. It’s the best. They may also be the ones who are taking pictures of whatever they legally can. These are the true dispensary tourists. Not the out-of-towners, but the seniors. Get that herb medicine, gramps. Let the CBD touch your soul and free you of any pain. You deserve it more than anyone. Maybe try a 1:1 THC to CBD. Trust. Love, Dante.
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Danté Jordan is a former member of the Leafly Subject Matter Expert team, and current freelance writer, video producer, and media consultant specializing in cannabis culture, strains, products, education, and everything else related to that lil’ green flower. Contact him at smokingwithdante on Instagram, or dantenetworks(at)gmail(dotcom). His website is www.dantejordan.com.
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