I used to blame all of my bad habits on cannabis: my financial irresponsibility, my lack of dietary and exercise discipline, and most definitely my terrible procrastination. Life was just easier that way. Who wants to be accountable for their shortcomings when you have a scapegoat right there in front of your face? Nobody, that’s who.
And I was no different. I wasn’t being unproductive, lazy, and wack because of cannabis, I was being unproductive, lazy, and wack because those are the habits I’d developed for myself. Sure, the jolly green giant can make you want to sink into the couch for hours without realizing that you aren’t even watching a show, it’s just your SmartTV’s screensaver. And sure, it can cause you to get high at 8 a.m., then you look up and it’s 8 p.m., but you still have yet to do anything outside of ordering Postmates to your front door. But that’s only if you prioritize its use over your actual responsibilities, which is exactly how ya boy used to get down.
Let me walk your through a day in the life of Old Dante:
- Wake up.
- Consider getting in a pre-work workout.
- Smoke a blunt instead.
- Go to work.
- Watch Inside the Actor’s Studio until my lunch break. (That episode where Bradley Cooper comes back as a guest after being a student is just beautiful. It’s absolutely touching to anyone with a dream. Hell, if my eyes weren’t always so damn dry, I might’ve even shed a tear while watching.)
- Think “Hmm…this would be a good time to get some reading or writing done.”
- Go home and smoke a blunt instead.
- Go back to the office.
- Fiiiiinally do some actual work until I’m off.
- Think “Know what would be dope? If I kept this productivity going by knocking out that workout from this morning, or that writing from lunch.”
- Blunt instead.
- Pass out from being high as ever all damn day.
- Wake up in the middle of the night and absolutely loathe myself for smoking another day away.
I’d tell myself that I needed to quit cannabis, and most of the time, I would take little breaks from it. However, I noticed that even without that beautiful green plant in my life, I still wasn’t doing shit. I was still skipping workouts, wasn’t writing, was wasting money and time, and definitely still wasn’t eating right or working out consistently.
It was in those moments that I finally accepted the harsh truth that it’s not cannabis, it’s me. It was me, my lack of willpower, and my resistance towards self-discipline. For some reason I’d been treating quitting cannabis like it was a magical talisman that had the power to transform me from Mr. Nah, I’ma Just Take a Nap into Mr. Gimme All the Tasks Right Damn Now without me actually changing the way I approached each day.
I’m happy to say that I’ve finally gotten on track and things are moving smoother than ever. Though I’ve only been this New Dante since November, I can tell he’s here to stay. In that time, I’m down 15 pounds, my bank account no longer sends cease and desist letters, I’m getting more freelance gigs than ever before, and ya moms just called to ask if I want her to bring dinner over tonight (I told her no, I already ordered pizza). Basically, in the words of Chance The Rapper, everything’s good.
If you’re stuck in the cycle, you’ll be happy to hear that you can go ahead and switch the style up, too. I’ve got a few suggestions, but before I give them to you, just know that I’m definitely not qualified to be a life coach; my socks don’t even match right now. But I can tell you what worked for me and if you want to try it, feel free. Like I said, we’re family now.
Be Honest with Yourself
If you can’t handle the cannabis, don’t force yourself. It might not be for you anymore. You may have had your run and it’s over now. That’s fine. But the most important part is being honest with yourself. If you don’t think you can have productive and fulfilling days unless you’re dead-ass sober, then put it down. But if you aren’t ready to let Mary fly into the abyss, figure out what role she plays and let that be that.
Decide When You Should and Shouldn’t Consume
Money and time are pretty much the same — you have to spend them both wisely. If you’re spending all your time smokin’ and chillin’, you’re dedicating absolutely no time to your actual responsibilities. This doesn’t mean you have to quit, it just means you need to know when you should and shouldn’t smoke.
Again, here you need to be honest with yourself. Personally speaking, can I work out high? Nope. Can I write high? Yup. It’s all about knowing what works for you. If you can’t function high, maybe you should delay your indulgence until you complete your most important tasks. Not only will this rev up your productivity, it’ll also save you a lot of money.
Speaking of money…
Create a Budget for Your Cannabis Habits
Trust me when I say that smoking an eighth every 1.5 days in order to procrastinate can reaaalllyyyyyyy add up. Create a budget and stick to it firmly. Once you’re out, you’re out. Don’t transfer money from savings to checking to cover it. Getting high isn’t worth ruining yourself financially.
I used to spend money so frivolously on cannabis products, then look up at the end of the month and be $400 in the hole without ever noticing. You don’t want to do that. It sucks. And chances are you can’t afford it, because Lord knows we aren’t making shit as millennials.
Bottom line: if you’re still blaming cannabis for your problems, it’s time to take a look in the mirror and acknowledge who’s really responsible. Hint: it’s the person looking back at you. Change your ways, change your life, then roll up and celebrate your hard-earned adulting.