It’s Stoner Madness: Leafly’s ‘What’s the best way to get high?’ tournamentDante JordanMarch 19, 2020
CALLING ALL STONERS! CALLING ALL STONERS! IT’S TIME TO DEBATE!
Even with this year’s March Madness tournament canceled, we’re not ready to let the season pass without getting some bracketology in. In that spirit, greetings and welcome to Leafly’s Stoner Madness—a cannabracket challenge where we’ll compare your favorite cannabis consumption methods in order to answer life’s most burning question: What is the best way to get high from weed?
You’ve been telling your blunt-smoking bestie that joints are way better, while grandma has been telling you edibles are way better than vape pens. Well, starting today, it’s time to put your voting where your mouth is. Cast your vote in the article below, or via one of our polls on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. We’ll tally every vote when the polls close at 6pm PST, and you’ll be able to vote for the remaining entrants the next morning.
Vote every day to see your favorite method through to the final round, and check back daily to find out which method wins each matchup.
- Sweet 16: Mon 3/16 – 6am-6pm PST
- Elite 8: Tues 3/17 – 6am-6pm PST
- Final 4: Wed 3/18 – 6am-6pm PST
- Championship Round: Thurs 3/19 – 6am-6pm PST
- Champion Announcement: Fri 3/20 – 6am PST
Seeding was based on appropriate considerations and cultural popularity.
Now, let’s meet our teams and Stoner Madness champion.
Stoner Madness Champion
When you host any type of tournament, the best you can hope for is a close matchup at the end. You hope the championship goes down to the wire as both teams leave every single thing on the court and, boy oh boy, did Joints and Bongs deliver.
Throughout Stoner Madness, Bongs proved to be an absolute giant killer. A #2 seed with #1 seed talent, they knew they’d have their work cut out for them with teams like Dabs and Vape pens looming in the distance. Still, round after round, match after match, they welcomed every bit of smoke as they walked through the Stoner Madness fire. They laid One-hitters & Chillums out with the quickness of a McGregor vs. Cowboy fight. They stood as David to the Goliath that is Dabs, and after defeating their ultimate opponent in Vape pens, only one obstacle remained: Joints.
Ohhh, Joints. Joints always expected to be here. They were the #1 overall seed as there are very few people that don’t enjoy a nice roll-up-and-match session with the homies. Joints proved that Infused beverages should never be in the same sentence, then chewed through Candy edibles like raccoons through trash bags, before sending Pipes to the crib in a closer matchup than expected. The only team left standing between Joints and a seat on the throne was Bongs, who proved to be the strongest contender possible. In what was the single most thrilling matchup in all of Stoner Madness, with both teams neck-and-neck on all voting and social platforms, Joints ultimately proved that 2020 is their year, defeating Bongs thanks to a strong late showing powered by voters on Instagram. Across all platforms, the final tally was: Joints – 1435 total votes vs. Bongs – 1300 total votes.
In the end, the act of sitting down with some nice bud, grinding it up, twisting your paper, and lighting up your creation remains one of the most sacred and cherished rituals in cannabis culture. Joints proved just that, and because of their resilience, we now crown them Stoner Madness champion and the official best way to get high.
Congratulations to Joints and a huge thanks to everyone who participated in Stoner Madness. *cue One Shining Moment*
Stoner Madness Championship
(1) Joints vs. (2) Bongs
Well, well, well. After a tumultuous week of Stoner Madness the dust has settled and only two potential champions remain: Joints and Bongs. Check the clock, it is officially Flower Hour.
Joints came into this tournament a #1 seed looking to solidify their place on Mt. Kushmore. After blasting Infused beverages by a Space Jam-like amount, they marched through Candy edibles to face their toughest foe yet: Pipes. It went down to the wire, as the resilient #3 seed Pipes played with a chip on their shoulder and something to prove, but thanks to a late-game spark, Joints now stand before Bongs for the whole shabangabang.
A #2 seed, but not expected to be here, Bongs have shown that the classic ways of smoking weed will never go out of style. Showing absolutely no problem with any of their opponents, whether they be One-hitters & Chillums, Vape pens, or even rising pot powerhouse Dabs, Bongs rode the underdog train into the Stoner Madness Championship where they’ll attempt to knock off the tournament’s #1 overall seed.
This is what it’s all about, my friends; THIS is Stoner Madness. So, for one final time, we must ask: what is the BEST way to get high? Is it the roll-up or the bowl-up? Crown your Stoner Madness Champion now!
Keep reading to view the seedings and matchups from the first three rounds of Stoner Madness. Please note that voting is closed for these matchups and vote above.
Stoner Madness Final Four
(1) Joints vs (3) Pipes
Tuesday of Stoner Madness was a supreme moment in history. In a surprising upset, Pipes sent Blunts to the house they built to march onto the Final Four. Now Pipes, in all of their resin-coated glory, take on the overall #1 seed in Joints, who treated Candy edibles like a JV team in round 2. Can Joints continue their winning ways against the stiffest competition so far? What’s the better way to get high: papers or glass? Joints or Pipes? Cast your vote now!
(2) Bongs vs (1) Vape pens
It’s year 2020 and Bongs just took Dabs out of Stoner Madness to make a Final Four bid. No one could’ve seen this coming, but it just goes to show that your friends who are always saying that “Eventually people won’t even smoke flower” need to have a seat at the Loser’s Table. Now Bongs, one of the tournament’s legacy entries, take on their most formidable opponent yet: the hot newcomer Vape pens, who dispatched Handheld vapes in a Round 2 battle of the tech bros for the ages. Now, it’s old school versus new as readers vote on what’s the better way to get high: flower or oil? Bongs or Vape pens? Cast your vote now!
Keep reading to view the seedings and matchups from the first and second rounds of Stoner Madness. Please note that voting is closed for these matchups and vote above.
Stoner Madness Round 2
(1) Joints vs. (2) Candy Edibles
Joints absolutely blew Infused beverages out of the water, while Candy edibles just baaarely overtook Tabletop vaporizers in Round 1. Now the two victors face off for the North Region title. Can the deliciousness and convenience of cannabis gummies take the #1 seed off its throne? Or will your love of a good ol’ roll-smoke-pass continue to be too much for the opposition? Cast your vote now!
(1) Blunts vs. (3) Pipes
If you thought Sublinguals were going to beat Blunts in Round 1 then you must be new around here. It’s okay. Welcome to Blunts’ house, check your shoes at the door. The story could change today, though, as Blunts face off against Pipes, which ran Baked edibles off the court with ease yesterday, resulting in one of the most intriguing matchups of the whole tournament—rolling a blunt versus packing a bowl. Who will we crown King of the South?! Vote now!
(1) Dabs vs. (2) Bongs
It seems the only thing Leafly readers want to put on their skin lately is hand sanitizer, as Dabs took out Topicals in round one of the tournament. Meanwhile, bigger proved to be better as Bongs booted One-hitters & Chillums out of the tourney like it was just another day at the office. Now Dabs take on Bongs in an absolute clash of the titans centered on weed’s biggest question: oil or flower? Vote now!
(1) Vape pens vs. (2) Handheld flower/oil vaporizers
Steamrollers didn’t stand a single chance against Handheld vapes, while Gravity bongs almost pulled off the biggest underdog win since University of Maryland, Baltimore County vs. Virginia against Vape pens before ultimately coming up short. That set up a second round vape matchup to answer the vapiest vape question: are oil vape cartridges better than portable oil dabs? Vote now!
Keep reading to view the seedings and results from the first round of Stoner Madness. Please note that voting is closed for Round 1 matchups and vote above.
Stoner Madness Round 1
(1) Joints vs. (4) Infused beverages
Joints are papers with weed rolled in them. They’re perfect for sessions where you want a method that will last long enough for a good conversation. Negatively, joints tend to use more weed than other methods and if rolled wrong, they can burn super weird, i.e. canoe.
Infused beverages are edibles in drinkable form. They can be sodas, teas, coffees: pretty much anything you can slurp down with a straw. They’re great for a tasty treat, but like any edible, are easy to overconsume and can put you in a highly sedated state. Great for nighttime sessions, a whole bottle of any infused beverage will probably lay you down for the count.
(2) Candy edibles vs. (3) Tabletop vaporizers
Candy edibles are gummies, hard candies, mints, and chocolates. These are extremely common amongst consumers who don’t want to smoke up their lungs. Conversely, the high can be very short-lived and difficult to time.
Tabletop vaporizers are vaporizers that sit—you guessed it—on your tabletop at home. The pros of them are the pros of every vaporizer: the cleanest smoke and a heavier high than most other ways of consuming flower. Cons of these herb vaporizers is that they’re not generally set up for other consumption methods, and some complain they give weed a burnt popcorn smell and taste.
(1) Blunts vs. (4) Sublinguals
Blunts are usually tobacco wraps stuffed with weed, but they can also be made using hemp wraps. They burn the longest out of all the roll-it-up ways (excluding that ridiculous-ass Cannagar). They also cost more considering sticks usually come in 2-packs, and you have to purchase them every other time you smoke. And of course, they’re not necessarily the right choice for people bothered by tobacco smoke.
Sublinguals are a non-smokable way of consuming cannabis where you put strips or drops under your tongue and wait for that high to hit. They tend to come in lighter doses, making sublinguals great for consumers who want to ease into their high.
(2) Baked edibles vs. (3) Pipes
Baked edibles are cookies, cakes, brownies, and any other infused baked goods. Like candied edibles, these are great for nonsmokers but can be tough to dose out, especially since making sure your cannabis oil is dispersed evenly throughout a whole batch of baked goods is pretty tough.
Pipes are exactly what you think they are: glass, metal, or ceramic pipes that you use to smoke flower. They’re great for solo smokers and don’t use much weed, so you can definitely make your buds stretch. Just make sure to keep them clean as a dirty pipe will make your hits all resiny, which will lead to terrible taste and increased coughing.
(1) Dabs vs. (4) Topicals
Dabs are the most flavorful way to consume cannabis and also one of the most potent forms of marijuana on the market. Basically, dabs are oil extracted from the cannabis plant, which can come in many forms—hash, diamonds, crystals, sugar, wax, shatter, and more are all types of dabs. This method allows you to concentrate on cannabinoids and terpenes without smoking a bunch of plant matter, but it will also be a very potent and powerful experience as most dabs are upward of 60% THC. Novice consumers should tread lightly.
Topicals are lotions and balms that people rub into their bodies to feel the effects of cannabis. Like sublinguals, these are a great option for nonsmokers and consumers who want a lighter cannabis experience than flower or dabs may provide.
(2) Bongs vs. (3) One-hitters & chillums
Bongs are water pipes made from ceramic, glass, or even even plastic or silicone. They are perfect for solo sessions, as a single hit from a bong can definitely get even a veteran pot smoker to their destination. And since they’re so powerful and efficient, they are a great option for smokers who are looking to make their stash go a little further. No matter what they’re made of, bongs can get pretty dirty though, and from there, the dirtiness will affect the taste of your smoke, as well as the harshness of your hits, so make sure you change your water and clean your gear frequently.
One-hitters are a way of consuming cannabis that allow you to take—you guessed it—one hit of weed, and get up out of there. It’s the single most conservative way to consume cannabis, but one-hitters have earned a reputation for being small but mighty—many smokers have found themselves unexpectedly ripped from seemingly small single hits. Chillums are essentially just big one-hitters.
(1) Vape pens vs. (4) Gravity bongs
Vape pens are the various portable oil vaporizers that, despite their relatively recent arrival on the seen have become one of the most common ways of consuming cannabis these days. Vape pens consist cannabis oil cartridges—such as 510-thread cartridges, Pax Era carts, IndigoPro carts and so forth— and batteries that heat that oil so you can consumer it. They’re great for getting a light high while you’re on the go, as well as being sneaky, but boy can they be pricey.
Gravity bongs are typically handmade bongs created with plastic bottles and water tubs, though you can get more upscale glass options from some head shops. They’re effective for the budget consumer who’s looking to conserve weed, or for people who are simply looking for the most potent high they can get. Beware though—gravity bongs rush a heavy dose of smoke into your lungs and can lead to a VERY heavy high. But being a lil’ too stoned never hurt nobody, especially if you’re prepared for the experience.
(2) Handheld flower/oil vaporizers vs. (3) Steamrollers
Handheld flower and oil vapes are basically dab rigs and tabletop vaporizers miniaturized for portability. Examples are the Utillian 722, PAX 3, and Firefly 2. These handheld vaporizers are versatile and great options, as they allow quick and convenient consumption for those who prefer smoking flower and dabs alike over other portable solutions on oil vape pens.
Steamrollers are pipes with carbs on the end versus the side, which creates a free flow of air that basically fills your lungs with the biggest amount of smoke possible, all at once, like a straight-up locomotive. These thangs get you STONED, boy. It’s the hit that keeps on hittin’.