Grape is the best flavor of cannabis, fight me
Grape is the best flavor of cannabis, and anyone who disagrees can meet me by the monkey bars ‘round 3pm to discuss it.
When it comes to cannabis, there are plenty of flavor-based experiences that deserve respect in the Best of the Best conversation.
There’s orange-flavored cannabis, which usually leaves me in a productive euphoria that makes for a great breakfast delight. There’s the earthy strains that, while they are my least favorite flavor profile, still hit me with the heaviest high when I want to stick my entire lower body into the couch. And there’s the ever-so-lovely gassy strains that send me up into a cloud of giggles and make me feel like my feet may never touch the ground again.
But still, when it comes to my preferred overall experience, those grape-flavored strains reign supreme.
Here are a few reasons why.
The Taste vs. Strain Name
One of my least favorite things in the world, right under racism and when McDonald’s charges me for extra sweet & sour sauce, is when a strain tastes nothing like its name.
As our knowledge of cannabis, terpenes, and how flavors can guide certain effects evolves, personal experiences have shown me that grape-named strains tend to vary the least in this regard.
Dutch Treat, which you’d expect to taste really sweet, actually tastes more piney, and Guava Cake, which tastes more earthy than it does like guava, would leave me a little frustrated if I was searching for a specific flavor.
The Predictable Effects
While the effects of cannabis are subjective and specific strains can vary by grower, for the most part, grape-flavored strains always come through and hit me with that sit-down experience that leaves you in a stoney haze, leaving you not really wanting to do much but dip Doritos into Tostito’s nacho cheese and watch the latest episode of Euphoria.
As someone with a high tolerance, sometimes I need cannabis strains that provide more potent and heavier highs to achieve the relaxed feeling I’m seeking. Grape strains always do the trick.
The Abundance of Grape Strains
There have been many times when I’ve entered a canna-store in search of distinctly diesel-flavored strains or even vanilla-flavored strains and left empty-handed.
Grape is one flavor that you will ALWAYS be able to find at your local dispensary. Why? I assume because people sometimes shop for weed flavors by relative color, so dispensaries have to keep “that purp” on deck, because it is one of, if not THE, most popular flavors of cannabis.
Check the menus of your local dispensaries and you’ll be almost guaranteed to see at least one of these: Grape Ape, God’s Gift, Purple Punch, Granddaddy Purple, and/or something crossed with Mendo Purps.
The Wow Factor
Ever passed your homies something that made them scream “Oh, damn, that’s delicious; what’s that?!”
How’d it make you feel? Like the Queen of all things cannabis, right?
Every time I pull out a grape-flavored bud—like recently with Grape Bubba—that is the reaction. It not only gives me validation as a cannabis connoisseur, but it also excites me to know that I’ve shared a type of cannabis that people will actively buy once our session ends.
Sure, other flavors of cannabis have gotten this reaction, but none as consistently as that there grapey grape.
Smokin on Purple by Boosie and Webbie Exists
You ever heard a rapper drop bars about orange terps? Absolutely not. But you’ve been hearing them talking about smoking on purp since about 900 AD. Coincidence? I think not. If Boosie Badazz and Webbie are smoking on purple, so should every other human in the Milky Way Galaxy. Because this that shit that we get high to, this that shit we ride to.